I read an article recently on being a mom. About how all moms are the same. We are all incredibly blessed to have been given the chance to love another human so deeply it hurts. There is nothing that can prepare you for being a mom. The connection you feel towards your child. It is unexpected, joyous, overwhelming. Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. It doesn't matter what kind of mom you are. Whether you gave birth to your children, or you adopted. Moms who have sick babies or healthy babies. Moms who are pregnant with their first or moms who recently lost a baby. Moms of children with differences. Older moms and teenage moms. Your status, your social standing, your religion. None of it matters. Moms are moms all across the world. So why do we hate each other? Shocked that I said that? We all do it. In different ways.
I remember coming back to work from maternity leave. I was bitter and resentful. I didn't want to leave my baby with a stranger. And because I had to, I hated any mom who didn't have to. Then, over time, I began to resent moms that had more money, or seemingly better behaved children. Skinny moms. Pretty moms. Calm moms. Involved moms. PTA moms. Moms that cooked. Moms that cleaned. Moms that worked out. Moms that weren't me.
Let me repeat myself: Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. It's both mentally and physically draining. You laugh, you cry, you lock yourself in the pantry to eat the last cookie. You do up all nights and days with out sleep. You worry, all the time. Being a mom is a world of unexpected adventures. And what moms need more than anything is too feel validated. To feel supported. To feel understood. You spend 24 hours a day second guessing yourself, your choices, your motives. You feel selfish when you enjoy life. You feel sad on the first day of school. You feel bad when it's fast food, again. You feel alone. You wonder if you have the only kid that refuses to nap. The only kid that screams at the dentist. The only kid that won't eat food unless it's on a blue plate. You aren't alone.
When we were little, our moms called their friends and family for support. They didn't text, tweet or Facebook them. You had real connections. Something tangible. A hug. There was a closeness that we don't have today. You can literally maintain relationships with hundreds of people without ever having to actually speak to or see them in person. It's disgusting. And what's worse, is this is exactly why mom shaming is all too easy, and prominent. Every social media outlet has an article about parenting. Something you aren't doing. Something you didn't even know you were supposed to do. Every status update is about someones accomplishments. And don't get me wrong, I know people are proud. My issue is the reality. We live in a world where you only post the best picture of yourself, the good days, the 'wins' in life. No one talks about reality. It's a false sense of security. They have great kids. They have the perfect marriage. They have a lot of money. I myself have muttered those words. But what I'm starting to realize is it's a lie. And it's only bringing us down. As a society. As a whole.
It's making you second guess your life. Your job as a mom. Stop. We, as moms, as women, need to come together. Join forces in this thing called life. Support, love the hell out of each other. Stop comparing. You are doing the best damn job you can. We all have bad days and good days. Wins and losses. But what we need more than anything, to do our job to the best of our ability, is support. Breastfeeding, homeschooling, working, staying at home. We are all still moms. Those actions are what you do, not who you are. There are no two children alike in this world. Don't come down on yourself. You are excelling in motherhood. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of what you've created. Be content. Look into the eyes of your sweet child and think 'I've done well'. We do not have the right to criticize anyone else. We have not been in their shoes. It's bullying. These are the very things we teach our children. Don't be mean. Yet, we do it ourselves, maybe unknowingly. Maybe on purpose. Take a step back. Think about it. Make a change.
Today you are you!
That is truer than true!
There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
-Dr. Seuss
-Heidi
I remember coming back to work from maternity leave. I was bitter and resentful. I didn't want to leave my baby with a stranger. And because I had to, I hated any mom who didn't have to. Then, over time, I began to resent moms that had more money, or seemingly better behaved children. Skinny moms. Pretty moms. Calm moms. Involved moms. PTA moms. Moms that cooked. Moms that cleaned. Moms that worked out. Moms that weren't me.
Let me repeat myself: Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. It's both mentally and physically draining. You laugh, you cry, you lock yourself in the pantry to eat the last cookie. You do up all nights and days with out sleep. You worry, all the time. Being a mom is a world of unexpected adventures. And what moms need more than anything is too feel validated. To feel supported. To feel understood. You spend 24 hours a day second guessing yourself, your choices, your motives. You feel selfish when you enjoy life. You feel sad on the first day of school. You feel bad when it's fast food, again. You feel alone. You wonder if you have the only kid that refuses to nap. The only kid that screams at the dentist. The only kid that won't eat food unless it's on a blue plate. You aren't alone.
When we were little, our moms called their friends and family for support. They didn't text, tweet or Facebook them. You had real connections. Something tangible. A hug. There was a closeness that we don't have today. You can literally maintain relationships with hundreds of people without ever having to actually speak to or see them in person. It's disgusting. And what's worse, is this is exactly why mom shaming is all too easy, and prominent. Every social media outlet has an article about parenting. Something you aren't doing. Something you didn't even know you were supposed to do. Every status update is about someones accomplishments. And don't get me wrong, I know people are proud. My issue is the reality. We live in a world where you only post the best picture of yourself, the good days, the 'wins' in life. No one talks about reality. It's a false sense of security. They have great kids. They have the perfect marriage. They have a lot of money. I myself have muttered those words. But what I'm starting to realize is it's a lie. And it's only bringing us down. As a society. As a whole.
It's making you second guess your life. Your job as a mom. Stop. We, as moms, as women, need to come together. Join forces in this thing called life. Support, love the hell out of each other. Stop comparing. You are doing the best damn job you can. We all have bad days and good days. Wins and losses. But what we need more than anything, to do our job to the best of our ability, is support. Breastfeeding, homeschooling, working, staying at home. We are all still moms. Those actions are what you do, not who you are. There are no two children alike in this world. Don't come down on yourself. You are excelling in motherhood. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of what you've created. Be content. Look into the eyes of your sweet child and think 'I've done well'. We do not have the right to criticize anyone else. We have not been in their shoes. It's bullying. These are the very things we teach our children. Don't be mean. Yet, we do it ourselves, maybe unknowingly. Maybe on purpose. Take a step back. Think about it. Make a change.
Today you are you!
That is truer than true!
There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
-Dr. Seuss
-Heidi
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